TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
