I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
