listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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