Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
