she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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