either way he was missing a nipple.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
