you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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