So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
