apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
