The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
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I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
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Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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