Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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