your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
