JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
