Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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