Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
