i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just gargled with NyQuil
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
