he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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