she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
