Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
