How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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