she sounds like chewbacca in bed
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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