Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
