I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
