you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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