yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
