i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I supernannyed him into submission
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
