i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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