dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
