so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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