he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
