I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
