I look better un-naked...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
