I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
