How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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