; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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