did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
