I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
