only if we run a train.
done.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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