I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he thought i was a dude.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
