so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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