I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
