Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
