does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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