Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
