we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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