True but thats because hes a fetus.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize