Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
