I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining