he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.