4 words: hood of his car
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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