I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
