Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
