And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
