It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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