i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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