Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
