this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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