You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize