the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
