I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
