I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
