i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
